Computers Are Our Friend

Secretly, somewhere deep down in me, there’s a little girl wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. To be called a “computer geek”.

Oh, how I envy all those IT people. Raja gives me the eye whenever I categorize anyone with computer skills as an IT person. Apparently there’s a difference. Pfftt! Regardless, they seem to have everything at the tip of their fingers and the corner of their eyes. With their sophisticated knowledge on computer stuff that leaves me totally clueless. They’re just so informational with the growing technology. Hence, the term Information Technology (IT). Which technically makes an individual with such caliber, an IT person. Obviously. I rest my case.

Unlike me. I suck when it comes to computers and anything associated with it. Under it. Above it. Adjacent to it. You name it. As long as it breaths a mother board, I’m horrible at it. It’s true. I’m what you’d call an IT Bimbo. I haven’t the slightest idea on where to even begin when it comes to anything other than online chatting. Which is why the desperate eagerness to become a computer geek.

My first true heart-wrenching, spine-twisting, ego-crushing experience with a computer was eight years ago. There was this Visual Basic assignment I was working on. By the way, yes, you’re eyesight’s perfectly normal. I did type Visual Basic (VB). Somebody please shoot me now.

For those of you who have never gotten the pleasure of being introduced to VB in your lifetime, I hate you. You perfect person you. Anyway, it’s basically a programming language, which is way beyond what I’d ever dreamed of venturing into. So it’s safe to conclude that I was forced into taking this class.

It wasn’t easy for me. Truth be told, I had memorized everything. I wasn’t even improvising on anything. I copied word by word from the text book straight into the program. What seemed like ages finally came to an end. My assignment was completed. I had conquered the inevitable. Ok, now the saving part. I hesitated for a while. There was no saving in MIRC or ICQ. At least not to my clearly limited knowledge. Embarrassed, I looked aimlessly around the computer lab for help. Believe it or not, I was about to ask someone to teach me how to SAVE my files. How lame is that? I’m glad we’ve already established the fact that I’m a total IT Bimbo.

So I gathered my courage and the tiny pieces of what’s left of my ego and squeaked for assistance from my colleagues. Again, it wasn’t easy. It took a little convincing and some cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die promises on their part that my files were safely stored before I could bring myself to close the program. Amazing. That day, I learned how to save a file.

Impressed with my newly acquired saving techniques, I brought the saved files back home to print out. But there was a major problem. My files were missing. Like it never existed. There was a long pause. A moment of silence. Then sheer panic. Followed by various pardon my french words

The next day, I rushed into the computer lab hoping to retrieve my files. To my dismay, it wasn’t there. There was total blankness. I was disoriented. My work. My assignment. My masterpiece!

Then I realized something. I suck at computers. I didn’t even know how to save a file. What was I even searching for? I needed help. With a glint of hope mixed with despair, I requested the help of my colleagues. And it’s true, I truly suck at computers because they had found my missing files. Here’s the fun part. It wasn’t really missing. Instead of saving them into the diskette like a normal person would’ve, I had saved files that I planned on taking home with me into the computer’s hard drive. What the? Was I planning on carrying the machine back home or something? Seriously. What a Bimbo!

I think what’s worse was that the government accepted me into its tertiary system. Believe me, like yourself, I am truly appalled by this.

Anyway, last night I had encountered another problem. No, not that. I’ve already mastered the saving part. This was bigger than that. It was more of an overall computer issue. My CPU gave up on me, my monitor refused to come alive, and of all things, my iPhone was messing up. Raja said an iPhone is pretty much like a computer, only smaller. It’s no wonder though. ALL COMPUTERS HATE ME. Irrespective of its shape, color, and evidently size. They’re literally out to get me. There’s also this throbbing nerve of the size of a foot that suddenly popped out on my forehead.

So I pleaded for my IT guy to rescue me. Yes Raja, I’m referring to you as an IT person. Bare with me. So with a wave of his magic fingers, all problems disappeared. Ahhh, I felt the killer nerve sinking back into its slumber.

We can all agree that my hopes and dreams of being a computer expert ought to be flushed down the toilet. Merely for the safety of others. And mankind. Instead, I did the next best thing and married my dream. I married a computer geek. Best decision by a mile. I love my IT guy.